LOGICAL REASONING: Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz!
Must. Have. Coffee.
For years, I prided myself on not being addicted to anything, and then I had a child. Now I cannot function beyond the cognitive level of a stuffed iguana if I do not have an espresso. In fact, if I do not have this aforementioned elixir within 23 minutes of awaking, I wreck the emotional stability of everyone around me for the entire day. I accept this new reality, blame my son, and plan to quit one day (though my wife will not permit me to attempt any going cold turkey experiments if I am within 200 miles of her or my son—sort of a caffeine restraining order).
To add to my anxiety about coffee, I saw a news report last week stating that excessive coffee drinking makes us much more susceptible to glaucoma. This makes sense—on occasion I have noticed my eye twitches from drinking coffee, making me look like a fish on crack. Being in Denver, where there are more medical marijuana dispensaries than Starbucks (really), if I do get glaucoma, I’ll have a fine reason to visit one of the well-named “pharmacies” near me: ReLeaf, Club Med, 420 Wellness, Grateful Meds… (Honestly, I was just trying to work in a way to list the ridiculous names – here’s a longer list.)
So, I looked up the article, and being an LSAT geek, besides wondering if I should pick up and move 200+ miles from my wife and child during a caffeine-sobering period, I also wondered about the increased risk. Whoever conducted this study (and I hope my tax dollars didn’t pay for it) reports that the “increased risk was on the order of 66 percent.” Now, on my crappy local news, (sorry, Denver 9 News), the reporter seemed to suggest that drinking coffee equals eye death. What do you think?
So, here are some questions for you to chew on (and respond to in the comment bar):
Assuming the study is correct, do you think we can say that you are now more than 50% likely to get glaucoma?
Based on the study, can we say that heavy coffee drinkers are now very susceptible to getting glaucoma?
Similarly, though with different content, think about this argument: People are more likely to pick the number three than any other number when you ask them to “pick a number, one to four” because you have effectively said the numbers one, two (“to”), and four, and so their minds fill in the number three. Therefore, when you ask someone that question, the person is more likely than not to pick three.
I await your responses!