Hello Everyone,
Sorry about this, but I/MPrep will no longer be giving notes on your individual essays. Just to explain, some people have been posting upwards of ten essays on here. As each one takes 15-20 minutes to read and make notes on, this is turning into a serious amount of free advice for just one person. These essay postings, unlike math and verbal postings elsewhere on the forums, are not useful for anyone other than the poster, so it's basically private tutoring, which is something you can sign up for through our website.
If you have GENERAL questions about how to write essays, I'm happy to keep answering those, but I will not be reading actual essays here.
Thanks for your understanding!
-t