Please help me grade my essay. Thanks...

[razak olayinka]

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.



The writer presents the case of deficiency of vitamin A in Tagus, and assumes that the only antidote to the challenge facing the community is the adoption of the new breed of millet high in Vitamin A, provided by the international development organization. As impressive as the solution may appear, it is built on some assumptions and the writer has done little to nothing in providing a substantial evidence to back up this claim.
First, the writer assumes that the only solution to the problem of Tagus is the adoption of the new breed of millet by the government of Tagus. In this case, no information was given for the places where the new breed has worked effectively. If a statistic exists showing the number of places the new breed has been sampled successfully, then the evidence for weighing its performance in Tagus will be feasible.
The writer never talks about the cause of the vitamin A deficiency in Tagus. He also assumes that there is no other ways that the problem causing the deficiency of vitamin A could be solved is in the adoption of the newly introduced breed of millet. While, the idea of subsidies sounds good, it is not the solution to the problem plaguing the community. The writer would really do a good job if other causes to the deficiencies can put to check.
Furthermore, the writer assumes that every farmer would be able to afford the new breed of millet because of the subsidy. This is unjustifiable since not every farmer has the same financial capacity and the subsidies itself is not known. If a farmer is buying a millet worth $30 and is being paid a subsidy of $1dollar, there is not logical balance between the cost and its subsidy at the end of everything.
This argument can be strengthened if only the writer would provide answers to some of the questions raises above. If there are enough evidences to back up this claim, the nation of Tagus would not only harvest enough vitamin A, the problem causing its deficiency could also be eliminated and in this way the argument of the writer would be valid. Regardless, the whole assumption is flawed.