Organization of Argument essay about alt. explanations

[kar.ar.424]

Hello,

I am practicing for the GRE and with the following prompt and I am having some doubts about the organization of the essay, this is the prompt.


The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of
stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant
monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain
how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.


I have come up with a bunch of alternative explanations for the interpretation of every fact presented as evidence. For example, the younger siblings could be too young and their brains do not interpret or process the stimuli in the same way , the study could have been conducted with a limited variety of stimulationg situations (there are different types of stimuli, thus different stimulating conditions), The reaction could be related to where they were taken from and if they where raised in captivity or in the group of 18 maybe there was only two groups of siblings, making the samples nonrepresentative. Anyway, I could choose the one I think is the best, but maybe I have time to write about more than one.

The thing is that actually I am not sure if the essay will look well organized if I present two or three alternative explanations in one paragraph, maybe it does, but right now I'm not sure. Would you recommend doing this finding a way to maek it look organized or just going with one explanation and not trying to use more than one even if there's time?

Thanks in advance

[tommywallach]

I do recommend having each paragraph focus on one issue always. So you have:

Intro

Paragraph 1 - First Issue

Paragraph 2 - Second Issue

Paragraph 3 - Third Issue (having three body paragraphs is the ideal, though two is also okay)

Conclusion

That's always the best structure. The more ideas you try to shove into one paragraph, the more confusing it becomes.

-t

[kar.ar.424]

Thanks for you reply tommywallach,


Yes I will have one paragraph per issue, my confusion was with wrtiing more than one alternative explanations for one premise, in one paragraph. But, maybe it is better to just give one, maybe touch on a second, but just maybe.


Thanks again

[tommywallach]

Yeah, one is probably cleaner/clearer.

-t