Feedback on My 'Analyze an Issue' Essay

[UmerMian]

Hi.

Can you please evaluate the essay below? Thanks!


People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
---------------------------------------

The decision-making process is a fundamental aspect of the human experience. Humans need to make many decisions of varying importance throughout their lives. Since it is so common and so necessary, much thought, discussion, and study has been done in analyzing the decision-making process. Ultimately, the best decision-makers are those who think through the consequences of their decisions and justify them logically beforehand, not those who base them on emotion and then try to justify them with logic afterwards.

One clear example of the danger involved in making decisions based on emotion is the decision by then Iraqi President Saddam Hussein to invade Kuwait. It is reported that in the late 1980s Hussein got embroiled in a fierce argument with the ruler of Kuwait, with many insults being slung by each leader to the other. With his passions inflamed and his massive ego damaged, the Iraqi leader made the decision to invade Kuwait to punish its leader for his disrespect. Clearly, this was a decision that was based on pure emotion, but of course, after committing to it Hussein had to attempt to justify the invasion to his people. This is a classic example of a decision based on emotion that was justified later on using logic, and the results are well known to us all. Kuwait was supported by a coalition of nations from around the world and Iraq was humiliatingly defeated, its army devastated, and its infrastructure set back many decades.

Another example of decisions that are often based on emotions is the decision to get a tattoo. Many people, especially young people, are compelled by emotions such as love, rebellion, anger, etc. to get tattoos of varying kinds on different parts of their bodies. After the tattoo procedure is done they feel compelled to justify the decision to friends and family by attempting to supply logical justifications such as "It was necessary to make my girlfriend know I love her" or "I have to show everyone that I'm an adult and can express myself freely." However, many people regret the decision to get tattoos in their later years once they experience the various problems that these body modifications can cause such as social stigma, difficulty in gaining employment, etc.

Those who argue that decisions based on emotion can also sometimes be necessary might cite as evidence various life examples in which a certain amount of emotion is essential to push the decision maker to take a calculated risk. For instance, marriage is a major life commitment that for many people results in divorce or misery. Hence, if people were to only base their decisions on pure logic without any regard for emotion, many of us would probably never make the leap to marry anyone. It is only due to a certain amount of emotion such as love and passion that people can overcome the trepidation that occurs in making such permanent decisions. Likewise, many of life's riskier decisions such as business ventures require some amount of emotion involved in order to get a person past the fear inherent in such commitments. The answer to this argument is that while it is true that a certain amount of emotion can be beneficial to the decision-making process as has been explained, a decision should never be fullly based on emotion.

In conclusion, logic, careful planning and analysis, and thorough consultation are the fundamental building blocks of a good decision. A limited amount of emotion can playing a supporting role to overcome the fear involved with some of life's riskier decisions, but emotion should never form the basis of the decision-making process.

[leo143rock]

hi umermian,

i have just desultorily (randomly, supeficially) gone through your issue essay.
i found it around 80% persuasive(convincing).
how ever, there are minor errors like sentence formation & some grammatical flaws.

i feel u can get a score of 4.5-5 out of 6. all the best.

[tommywallach]

Hey Umermian,

This is a 5.5-6 essay for sure. Your two examples are spot on, and you do a good job discussing how they reflect the emotional state of the person in question. Your counter-example is also solid (though a bit sad! Oh, marriage...). Well done!

-t

[razak olayinka]

This is a 6 for me!