Essay evaluation - 1

[salil31]

People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers.

I do not agree with the claim presented here, partly though. As there have been some cases where emotions led the person in to abyss, however, referring to behavior psychology, emotions can't be excluded from the decision making process; emotional quotient is considered as prime ability factor.

In medical science, it is prevalent and accepted practice that a doctor should not operate while attached emotionally to the patient. An argument is provided on doctor's ability to treat the patient relies on the premise that judgement gets compromised during these sort of situations. Unofficially, it is the same message which is passed to all the newbies in medical schools. Not only in critical situations dealing with life, it is quite observed everywhere: even in deciding or choosing mundane activities. A second example which I'll present here is concerned with driver behavior. It is well researched that ability to drive gets affected when emotional rational dominates the cognitive counterpart. Showing excessive rage, drunken driving, for instance, comprise the scenarios where drivers do judge situations wrongly or arbitrarily, despite the fact they are quite aware of laws and enforcement, having a light grip on conscience.

Business education, however, emphasizes the emotional quotient, the development of which starts from the age of 16. All leaders, like Mahatma Gandhi, Adolf Hitler, Abraham Lincoln, sport stars like Sachin Tendulkar, Roger Federer, and like, show a remarkably high emotional quotient when it comes to test them beyond limits. They take the front, and lead everyone in a compulsive manner. The retinue saw use of non-violence by Mahatma Gandhi to counter the prejudiced policies of British, during the colonial power in India. He not only led two famous movements, Satyagrah and Non-violence, but also created an aura where the followers could believe and contemplate on a way outside the preferred violence. Taking a latest example of Late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple. He created Apple with an objective of providing Personal Computer, aesthetically unmatched, to everyone. It is sometimes iterated that he took decisions solely using his emotions, and logic came afterwards, thus the world saw most profitable firm across the globe.

Aforementioned two passages argues over the decision making process. First shows the impetus of rationale, while the latter demonstrates the inherent traits, emotional quotient here, of leaders justifying logic and proving them superior decision makers. In behavioral psychology, it is reported that decision is a process which encompass two separate and isolated spheres, one being inner environment and other external milieu. Further, controlling inner factors superbly will yield an unprecedented outcome, which often doesn't rely on external ambiance. The claim presented here, therefore, can not wrote off the momentousness of emotion. As it is the case, this is the guide factor which show us the light at the end of the tunnel.

[tommywallach]

Hey Salil,

I'm going to jump in on these 2 if you don't mind. So here's the problem as I see it; you simplified the prompt. The prompt was not saying "is emotion a good thing." It is discussing a specific thing: people who make emotional DECISIONS, then try to back them up with logic AFTER THE FACT.

Your examples don't really apply here. For example, you discuss doctors, and how they shouldn't be emotionally involved. Fair enough. But you need to discuss an emotional DECISION a doctor might make (for example, a doctor decides not to perform a possibly fatal operation on a man because he has a child, even though the surgery has a high success rate and would increase the guy's standard of life). Nowhere in your essay do you discuss the idea of backing an emotional decision up with logic after the fact (which is a form of rationalizing, rather than an actual logical decision). I don't see how Steve Jobs proves any point about emotional decisions versus rational decisions.

Be careful not to oversimplify a prompt.

Your structure is solid, by the way. You have a couple specific examples, and a good intro and ending. Your writing is a bit overly complex. Try to keep your sentences simple and to the point.

Hope that helps!

-t