Arguement Essay evaluation

[kraft79]

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author of this argument is attempting to prove that a basket that was thought to be unique to the Palean civilization was common amongst neighboring tribes. The author does provide proof to the thesis, but the proof is replete with unwarranted assumptions. These assumptions weaken the argument and allow the reader to form an alternative thesis.
First of all, the author claims that there was a basket that was thought to have been made exclusively by the Palean civilization. “ Such “ a basket was recently discovered in the neighboring civilization of Lithos. The author is trying to prove that since two baskets existed in two civilizations, the Paleans cannot claim it as their intellectual property. The problem with this evidence is that such is a broad definition. The basket could have had a similar structure , but a different pattern or vice versa. In order for the authors argument to be strengthened , the basket found in Lithos and the Palean basket would have to be an exact match.
Secondly, The author claims that there is a broad and deep river that separates the two civilizations. To negate the possibility of trade between the Paleans and the Lithos , the author states that no Palean boats were found around the river. The assumption made here is that in order for these baskets to be brought to Lithos, the Paleans would have to navigate the river. There is a chance that the pepole of Lithos were more nautical and possessed the boats and skill to navigate the river . This point would have been stronger if the author stated that boats of both the Palean and Lithos civilizations were not found.
Thirdly, the argument assumes that there was little to no meshing of the two civilizations. Perhaps the two civilizations had formed an alliance based on peace and prosperity. The byproduct of this type of alliance could be that members of the Palean civilization could have lived amongst the Lithos. During their residence in Lithos, the Paleans might have gifted textiles, crafts, and other goods. The argument would have been stronger if the author clearly defined the relationship between the two civilizations.
In conclusion, the above argument attempts to show that a basket that was previously thought to be specific to the Palean civilization was in fact a part of a neighboring tribes culture. However, the argument is full of unwarranted assumptions. These assumptions do not allow the article to reach its conclusion.

[tommywallach]

Hey Kraft,

Some good writing, but overall, you're too caught up in the CONTENT of the essay, and not the ARGUMENT that they make. You seem to be prioritizing explaining alternate ways things could happen, then giving a brief mention to how the argument messes it up. This is totally backwards! Instead, focus ENTIRELY on the logical flaws made in the argument. Only talk about content in order to EXPLAIN why the flaws are actually flaws.

Possible outline:

Point #1: The author says that no Palean boats were found, thus the baskets couldn't have come from Palea. This assumes that just because something hasn't been found, it doesn't exist. But there could have been boats, all of which are lost by now.

Point #2: The author also assumes that people from the neighboring tribe didn't visit Palea with THEIR boats (you nail this point; good job!).

Point #3: The author assumes the present day is similar to the past. The argument says the Brim River is deep and broad, but we have no proof that it has always been that way.

Possible Point #4 (you only need 3): No evidence was given to prove that the Palean basket wasn't moved there after the fact, by someone at a later date who DID have a boat. This person could have been from a later version of the Palean society, Lithonian society, or some other visitor.


Your point about the baskets is off-topic. You must accept the premises. They say they found a Palean basket, so they must have found it. DO NOT doubt the facts they give you. Your point about the interplay between cultures also made no sense. You had already made that point in your second paragraph (that the Lithos people could have picked up the baskets in Palea and brought them back over).

Hope that helps!

-t