the subjects be parallel in sub clause and independen clause

[keerthisaran]

Hi MGMAT,
Hope you all are doing well.


While many students write carefully, Keerthi is very less attentive.
or
While many students write carefully, attention of Keerthi is very less.

My question is which of the above two forms is correct.
Is there some rule such as "Subject in Independent clause should be parallel to that in Subordinate clause."
I personally feel both are correct, though prefer the first one.


Many Thanks in Advance,
Keerthi.

[tim]

there is no such rule. however, both sentences have grammar errors independent of any issues you brought up..

[nickygmat2012]

Hi Sandar,

Though both the sentences sound awkward but i am not able to identify the errors.

Could you please hep.

[tim]

the most prominent error in both sentences is the "very less" construction. although this is widely used in Indian English, you would never see it in American English, and consequently you would never see it on the GMAT..