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idinuv
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Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:25 pm
 

Please rate my essay

by idinuv Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:26 am

Essay Topic
"Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the
regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting
to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies."

My Answer:
The author makes a point that the corporations should look to the city of Helios for new business opportunities or a new location. Author makes this point on the evidence that the
unemployment in the city has been lower when compared to the regional average and that it has historically provided more manufacturing jobs than its share of the region. Further, the
author says that Helios is attemption to expand its economic base by attracting companies to focus on Research an developmen of innovative technologies. However, the evidence provided
by the author does not straight away lead to the conclusion that the corporations should consider Helios as a new location for seeking business opportunity. The following paragraphs
explains how the evidence is not sufficient and the assumption incorrect.


Firstly, the author states that the unemployment rate was lower in Helios when compared to the regional average. However, Helios being a industrial center of a particular region, its
unemployement rate can't be compared with the region, but shall be compared with other developed cities. Further, author states that Helios has provide more than its share of region's
manufacturing jobs. It fails to provide the information regarding its share of jobs in other sectors. The author wrongly assumes that the high share of jobs in manufacturing sector as
a representative of its share of total jobs. Further, unemployment rate and high share of manufacturing jobs are not the criterions that corporations look for when investing in a new
location. The author should have provided some other information which corporations look for in order to make a more logical conclusion.


Further, author states that Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. Author fails to
state what is being offered by Helios to attract the corporations. Author once again fails to provide complete information. Author must have stated the various schemes, stimulus
packages, tax exemptions, land allocation etc which could be offered to the companies if they invest in Helios.


Thus, the author does not provide valid evidences and complete information in order to evaluate the argument putforth. Author should provide additional specific and relvant
information so that corporation can evaluate whether to invest in Helios or not.


Please provide your valuable feedback. I am aiming for a score of more than 5.