mission critical modifier

[gs.abhinav]

Hi,

This is in reference to the lesson on "mission critical modifiers" in the SC guide. Please see the undermentioned (made up) sentence and explain which one is preferable grammatically..

"Arnold Zellweger, the mayor of Termination, arranged processions in his town that featured a matching band, ceremonial performances, and the dispensing of gifts to children."

Is this grammatically correct? or is it better represented by

"In his town, Arnold Zellweger, the mayor of Termnination, arranged processions that featured a matching band, ceremonial performances, and the dispensing of gifts to children."

Thanks.

[Willy]

Hi,

This is in reference to the lesson on "mission critical modifiers" in the SC guide. Please see the undermentioned (made up) sentence and explain which one is preferable grammatically..

"Arnold Zellweger, the mayor of Termination, arranged processions in his town that featured a matching band, ceremonial performances, and the dispensing of gifts to children."

Is this grammatically correct? or is it better represented by

"In his town, Arnold Zellweger, the mayor of Termnination, arranged processions that featured a matching band, ceremonial performances, and the dispensing of gifts to children."

Thanks.

1st one sounds better to me.

[gs.abhinav]

@willigetmylifeback
thanks for replying.

I too thought that 1 sounded better but apparently it is vague because of the modifier 'that' which seems to be modifying the noun town instead of the noun processions. So the town seems to feature the various events rather than the procession itself.

I was hoping an expert could comment on this one.

Cheers.

[Willy]

@willigetmylifeback
thanks for replying.

I too thought that 1 sounded better but apparently it is vague because of the modifier 'that' which seems to be modifying the noun town instead of the noun processions. So the town seems to feature the various events rather than the procession itself.

I was hoping an expert could comment on this one.

Cheers.

Oh.. nice catch! I completely forgot about THAT in the 1st sentence! Thank you for pointing out the mistake. You are right in the explanation above and let's wait for some experts replies.

[gs.abhinav]

Hi there, frankly I didn't catch it. I got it wrong just as you did. But I am guessing that the sentence is ambiguous because 'that' could modify either the town or the procession.

Will wait for the experts' final word on this one.

[tim]

GS, i would answer yes to both of your questions:

Yes, your first sentence is correct and

Yes, the second version is better..

Please note that the GMAT would probably not make you decide between these two anyway; remember, your primary job on SC is to find WRONG choices (i.e. those that violate grammar rules), rather than to decide whether something is correct. Furthermore, you are probably best to restrict your study to actual SC examples rather than made up ones, as the sentences you make up may not be sufficiently representative of actual GMAT problems to be worth your time..

[Willy]

Thanks Tim!

[tim]

my pleasure!