Broken to the core: Need Your Help and Advice

[jainvikasvirgo]

Hi!...
I am Vikas (Age:33, Married and Working in an automotive MNC).
Am aiming for getting into an MBA school...for 2011-12 session...
and need to appear for GMAT in a month or two.

My problem is that I am not able to concentrate on my studies because of the following reasons:
1) A sense of guilt feeling in me that I am not giving time to my kids and wife when I reach home...Am trying to prepare since last 6 months...but not consistent with my studies...so low levels of confidence....This results in frequent friction between me and my family members.
2) Can't sit for Tests at home as I don't find a quite place at home...Kids remain playful..

I know that I have the capability to do wonders in the test...but I feel broken...feels like giving up everything at times...Can someone suggest me some way forward...

Regards,
Vikas Jain

[cgarre]

Vikas ! I am very happy to find someone almost like me.
I am also 33, i am targetting 2011-2012 myself. I am not able to concentrate
1. I feel my wife thinks i am ignoring her.
2. I have a kid on way, so i dont know if i will be so busy in prep, that i will not be able to enjoy the new addition to family.
3. cost of MBA is very high, i am targetting parttime though.

I have just started preparing, an target to give in August/Sep/October.

I would say dont worry about your chances, keep preparing as much as possible and give it a shot, dont worry about consequences, that will keep you low. Make sure you give enough time to family, so try preparing late in the night etc. If possible take classroom courses.

Wish you the best ! I am sure you will be able to achieve your dreams, dont break down, everyone in the world will try to break you, but remember you are trying to do things because you expect better life in future, and you are trying to secure a good future for your family. Its better to be scolded for not spending time with family than being scolded for not being able to support family.

[StaceyKoprince]

cgarre, thanks for responding with ideas and words of encouragement. I'm sure that jainvikasvirgo is glad to hear that he is not alone in his feelings and frustrations.

jainvikasvirgo, it is very hard for a lot of people to find the time and maintain the motivation to prepare for this test. You are not alone!

You say that you're targeting the 2011-2012 school year but you also say that you need to take the test in the next month or two. Why is that? The deadlines for 2011 are very far away. Is there some other reason why?

I'm asking because it doesn't sound like you've been able to make much progress so far, and the circumstances you describe suggest that you need to spread your study out over a longer period of time than usual in order to meet your family obligations. Most people need to study for 3-4 months for 10-15 hours a week. In your case, I would suggest something closer to 6 months for about 6-8 hours a week.

cgarre made a good suggestion about taking a course - most classes meet at the same time once a week, so this can help to keep you on schedule and motivated. Courses are more expensive than studying on your own, of course, but the expense may be worth it in your case.

I'd also like to suggest researching your local libraries. Many libraries now have wifi available, and libraries have a very quiet environment.

In terms of balancing your family's needs with your need to study, I would suggest that you sit down with your wife and plan certain times when you will study. You will need to make a commitment that you will get your studying done during those times. Your wife will need to make a commitment to support you in that. You will also need to make a commitment that you will NOT study during other, family times. Some sacrifice is going to be necessary from both of you.

For example, let's say you set up this schedule:
Mon: family
Tue: class (3 hours in the evening)
Wed: family
Thu: study 2 hours in morning before work or after dinner or kids have gone to bed in evening
Fri: family
Sat and Sun: study 2 hours at a consistent time when the family doesn't usually have another activity (eg, first thing in the morning, in the afternoon when the kids are napping or playing with their friends, etc)

With this kind of a schedule, you will likely need to do additional work after the course is over, but that's okay - spread it out over a longer period of time. You may also want to consider getting started before the course starts. For our program, a significant portion of your homework consists of reading about math concepts and trying some practice problems before each class. You could sign up a month in advance, get the books, and begin to read through and do the work at a more leisurely pace before the course even begins.

Periodically (roughly every 3-4 weeks), you will need to take a practice test. This will take about 4 hours and you will need quiet in order to do it - but you don't need to take a test that frequently. You might consider trying to do this at the library, at work on the week-end, or at a friend's house. You'll need a laptop and consistent high-speed Internet access.

Good luck - let us know how it goes.